How To Wear A Hat

How To Wear A Hat

“Son, all you need to wear a hat is attitude. And you got that.” Neil Gaiman – The Anansi Boys

Wearing a hat seems like a really simple thing. You put one on your head and go, right? Wrong. Well, maybe not wrong, it’s just not correct all of the time. That may be correct for the average baseball cap, but that's not the kinds of hats I’m talking about. I mean hats that are more stylish and classic, like a fedora or a derby.

I’ve taken a lot of guff from a good friend of mine because I like to wear fedoras sometimes.I have several and I really think they look good on me. Sure, they look a little kitschy and it’s something of an affectation. But, I realized that I’m forty-plus years old, I’m old enough to dress anyway I want, and not feel embarrassed about it. 

It was a struggle for a while. I felt really self-conscious about it at first. I think I saw some people snickering at me too. But after a while I started getting bolder about wearing them, and I think the change in attitude was noticeable. I started getting complimented on the fedoras. I started cocking them at a “jaunty” angle, and wore them with pride. Sure, people still probably think I’m an idiot sometimes. But so what? Fortune favors the bold, and all that shit. Ya know?

So, my advice to the person who wishes to wear a hat, like a fedora or another felt or straw hat, without feeling like a moron is to have the right attitude. If people laugh at you, use a trick I learned in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Tell yourself that they're probably just envious of your keen fashion sense. Even if it's not true say it silently to yourself over and over. Pretty soon you'll believe it. Second if you're wearing a stylish hat, wear it at an angle and pretend you're in a noir thriller. Or pretend that you're channeling the spirit of Humphrey Bogart or Frank Sinatra. You get what I'm saying, right? You're probably wearing a hat to get noticed, so be proud of it. Own that fucking hat!

Finally, have fun. Be proud of who you are and know that you're expressing yourself. Laugh at the small-minded people who think they have the right to judge you for being a little unusual. Laugh at yourself because you're probably kinda silly anyway. Just have fun with it!